Saturday, July 14, 2007

The M.O.D.O.K. Job Interview, Part II

Continued from the previous entry: The Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing's open auditions for the position of evil henchman.

The following Monday, no interview question was posted.

Marvelous M.O.D.O.K.,

There was no new application test this past Monday--please tell us this does not mean the position of henchman has already been filled? Surely, the casualty rates among your minions are high enough that some of us can still be of use to you?

Yours employably,
Niels van Eekelen

Posted by I MODOK:
Fear Not Applicants! Due to the exceptional number of pictures involved, the delay in uploading "The Old Ball & Chain" required bumping Question 4 of the Job Interview to next week! But it shall return then as glorious as before -- to separate you pitiful whiny girls from glorious A.I.M. scientist/stormtroopers!!
The following Monday:
Q4: To follow up on my previous question, Applicant, what specialized tactics, techniques or abilities would you use to accomplish the aforementioned
super hero beatdown?
Murderous M.O.D.O.K.,

Hm, difficult...

The reason that has earned Dr. Strange my wrath is also the reason he will be difficult to defeat. How does one combat one who defies traditional logic?

My first strategy is to attack the master of vagaries with purest reason: that is to say, math: that is to say, numbers: that is to say, throwing a lot of warm bodies at him, armed with a lot of weapons.*

If the first strategy does not work, Strange's elimination should logically fall to our psy-division. With no conscious mind, Strange can cast no spells.

Lastly, should our foul opponent continue to beat the odds, there is always the option of prodding Strange's natural foes and manipulating them into attacking him, and continuing until one is succesfull. Dealing with creatures as mystical as Strange himself is distasteful, but in the name of Science, it shall be done!

Yours schemingly,
Niels van Eekelen

*) Depending on the availability of A.I.M. lackeys, it may be wise to outsource this to Hydra.

Q5: You have comported yourself most well, Applicant. You are articulate, well-dressed, and evidence a rage against humanity that will prove most useful to our organization. I have only one more thing to ask you.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO PROVE TO ME YOU ARE NOT AN UNDERCOVER S.H.I.E.L.D. AGENT SENT TO SPY ON ADVANCED IDEA MECHANICS? HUH? HUH? PROVE IT TO ME!!

Note the red-hot glowing death glow glowing in my ruby-red headband as you contemplate your response.

Maniacal M.O.D.O.K.,

Truthfully, the vile insult that I might be in any way connected to the science amateurs of S.H.I.E.L.D. almost provoked me to drop out of the application process entirely, but I suppose I can see your concerns.

As for proof, it is difficult to provide truly definitive evidence. I can only suggest that for my first assignment, you command me to commit actions S.H.I.E.L.D. would never approve of. Something involving death, for instance. Preferably of the costumed variety.

Yours loyally,
Niels van Eekelen

At this point, M.O.D.O.K. foolishly chose to select another applicant into his employ.

You realize of course, M.O.D.O.K., that this means war. As "The Handbook of Evil Henchmen and Other Assorted Lackeys" clearly states, being snubbed for any sort of position is cause for lifelong vendetta.

Also pursuant the Handbook, I shall not congratulate the winner, "JAK8," in any way, shape or form, but instead name him as a secondary obsession in my vendetta.

You shall rue the day, etcetera, etcetera.

Friendly greetings,
Niels van Eekelen

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